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The Lazarus Tapes: Volume 1

by Jeremy White

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1.
Not The Wine 04:20
Knock me out so I can sleep Wake up just to see I’ve been a kid on Christmas Eve Every night lately It makes me blue It makes me shine It’s something new It’s not the wine Walking out in Hollywood Cemetery sun All my thoughts are new now The road has just begun I’ve been losing track of time To keep in touch with you It’s a given - a win/win Live it all - lose nothing
2.
Trashcan in the sink It’s getting hard to think Head’s pounding hard Dogs barking in the yard I can’t hear the metronome I can’t hear a thing But everything howls And everything rings Feels like we’re on a ship And the water’s on fire Feels like we’re on a ship And it just might sink If it don’t burn up first Driving the 150 Feeling kinda shitty Thought our day had been made Til we hit a bucket parade Driving pretty slow With a Chicago Overcoat Crossing Willy’s Bridge Like they had all courage So take a number, take a seat It’s one of those games you can’t cheat Nothin from somethin And somethin from nothin
3.
Revelry #2 03:57
Ghost to ghost, today I think it’s time I got away I gave this place the best of me There’s nothing left to save I couldn’t be what I ain’t All in all I’m fine Loading up the gun takes time And as long as you’re taking aim You can play all night But I want back in the game One of these days I’ll be free I won’t have to run these haunted streets One of these days when I’m out of reach And I’ve quit shaking my own tree It’ll be bittersweet revelry There’s no doubt today There’s no thinking I should stay There’s no faith left to lose And shit to prove There’s just wings for the move Hell knows, baby We may meet on a sunlit street Hell knows, lately The darkness is all I see
4.
Ribshot 05:15
You said, “There’s nothing for the pain.” As you drew black hearts on a windowpane I said, “Yeah there may be nothing, But it’s something all the same.” Drying up in conversation From the never-ending rain You broke a rib off just to see If I could get through to you again Restless in pieces on the day they left us with Shattered on the pavement, scattered to the wind I said, “I can handle all the pain, It’s the hope that spins me down the drain.” You said, “Yeah some nights I’d kill to not feel a fucking thing. My haunted head spins and rings The silence cuts through everything I’m in the back of an ambulance Biting down to hold back screams.” There’s no pill to kill the stillness here Nowhere to disappear Restless legs keep me awake But it’s pointless now To run away It’s a mood that don’t give a shit about you But it’s nothing new And there’s nothing to do As everything goes black And blue again Hey, I know it’s not always there But there is a light Yeah, it ain’t much But it beats the night
5.
Deadends 03:39
The haunted mile, quiet and still A bag full of weed, a purse full of pills The emptiness, the crowded hills It’s enough to drive anyone to kill But there’s nothing left to burn here In this twisted little turn here Nothing left to learn here There’s some roads that just dead-end and disappear The haunted mile, quiet and still Soaking in the scenery, the blood we’ve spilled For all night thrills, morning chills It’s enough to drive anyone to kill The windows to your soul are painted black I’m hoping one day you find your way out of the glass There’s still a field in the middle zone where you can Be more than the grass grown over the bones Grab your scissors for the hairpin turn A clean cut out of reverse One last picture to glue into verse Then pull the thread, disintegrate This black mold sweater This Jupiter weather This helium tether This hydrogen nevermore Dead-ended and disappeared
6.
Dismembered and emaciated There’s no way to anticipate it The pain is underrated You learn how to make it I’ve been staring at your paintings Of the Martians and the dead The cats call me a zombie And I’m singing for my meds The flowers in the windowsill In the 2nd frame still kill The ultraviolets bleed into my eyes Shut ‘em and I see you tonight Misgendered and elated There’s no way to escape it The joy is underrated They teach you how to fade it I’m all colored out I’m all lit up I’m winding down I’m all lit up

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released February 4, 2022

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Jeremy White Richmond, Virginia

Artist working out of Richmond, VA. Experimenting with words and sounds.

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